Cops find politician naked in his car

Policemen on  night patrol were shocked when they bumped into a naked political party leader in a stalled car.

The policemen spotted the car parked by the roadside and decided to inspect the car thinking that it could have been a victim of carjacking.

At first, the politician’s bodyguards had refused to open the car.

When they finally obliged, the policemen almost lost their eyesight on seeing the naked politician. It is not clear what had happened earlier to lead to such a shocking scenario.

In fact, instead of questioning the politician, the policemen quickly closed the door leaving the politician in the ‘safe hands’ of his bodyguards.

-The standardmedia

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Single men can now get 'Invisible girlfriends' ......

Many singletons fear family gatherings for the barrage of questions about one’s marital status. Now, one app hopes to put an end to that – for afflicted men, at least.

For membership fees of up to $49.99, Invisible girlfriend allows the user to virtually fake the presence of a girlfriend. The app provides members with fake calls, texts, and even relationship statuses on Facebook. The app, which has not yet launched to the public, says it will offer three levels of membership that are based on the three degrees of seriousness that users may want their fake relationships to convey. For $9.99 per month, for example, the ‘Just Talking’ membership offers interactive texts, automated phone calls, simple gifts (available for an additional fee), and an emergency interaction button. Invisible Girlfriend’s ‘Getting Serious’ dues, at $29.99 per month, offer users all of the benefits of ‘Just Talking’, and more. Subscribers will be able to post a fake relationship to their Facebook profile, receive real voicemails, random gifts and notes, and have the option to send themselves ‘premium gifts.’ And most serious, the ‘Almost Engaged’ membership, gives users all of the ‘Getting Serious’ perks, plus custom girlfriend characterization, the ability to create your own story, as well as live phone calls all for  $49.99 per month. Since the app is still in its beta phase, Invisible Girlfriend’s founder Matt Homann says he is still figuring out if live actors or computer-generated voicemails will be tasked with calling the platform’s subscribers. ‘We're not trying to build a girlfriend they can believe in -- that's a whole other level of technology,’ Homann told the Riverfront Times. ‘We're giving them a better story to tell, even if the story isn't true.’ Homann says that he bought the domain rights for Invisiblegirlfriend.com over three years ago, and only pitched the idea for an app as a joke. But the idea was anything but. He quickly assembled a staff and seed money to help fund the project.
He is currently working on Invisible Boyfriend as well, and says that both sites will be LGBT-friendly. ‘Our audience might come from a variety of situations: maybe they’re in a same-sex relationship they’re hiding from disapproving relatives, are trying to avoid the unwelcome advances from a coworker, or have chosen to focus on their work instead of romance,’ he said.
-the standardmedia

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Glass eating man shocks Murang'a residents

Residents of Kambiti in Murang’a county were stunned when a middle aged man suspected to be a carjacker was found eating glass from car mirrors and a windscreen at a bus stop. The residents allege that three weeks ago the man was part of a gang which reportedly attacked and seriously injured motorists who were later hospitalized in murang’a hospital. The man seemed unaffected by the very dangerous munching of pieces of glass and when he was done with pieces from car mirrors, he took some beer bottles, broke them on the ground and proceeded to munch away. It was not immediately clear why he was eating the glass.
-The standardmedia

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How porn can damage a Nairobian's mind

After the so-called ‘gubernatorial’ elections were conducted, Kenyans adopted the idea of their own miniature governments within the counties. The Bungoma county stunned the country by allocating Sh20 million towards fighting pornography. It caused a pandemonium of some sort but let’s face it: Pornography is more real today than it has ever been. Our sister paper, The Standard, carried the story of a woman related to Nairobi Senator Mike Sonko appearing in court for pornography-related charges. On Facebook and Twitter, koinangestreet.com has sprung and is live, with images and pictures that involve Kenyan men and women. In fact, downtown along the infamous River Road, there are hounds and piles of locally shot blue movies. Word is also rife that local pornography is emerging as big business. It is not hard to believe it as not long ago the media adequately fed us on the escapades of some nondescript white man in Mombasa, paying young women to go as far as having sex with dogs – all for the insatiable psyche of human sexuality. And recently, many Nairobi book readers have been exposed to non-conventional, violent sex in an erotic romance novel that has become popular in the city – Fifty Shades of Grey by British author E. L James.
The dangers of pornography are yet to be laid bare to Kenya’s populace, which is still reeling in the initial excitement pornography allegedly creates. But researchers and experts say that pornography has deep ramifications on a person’s mind – beyond sexual response of the person. “Pornography– especially among young people – is spiteful and affects both males and females. It slowly consumes a person’s sexuality; some can’t be satisfied and are disturbed in their lives of addiction,” says Catherine Mbau, a practising counselling psychologist. Catherine adds that pornography affects a person’s mind and can predispose them to sex-related psychological illnesses. She points out that issues such as abuse and sexual violence can be exacerbated by pornography. Furthermore, pornography has the dire consequence of destroying an initially functional marriage. Her hypotheses are supported by numerous studies, like one done by Neil Malamuth, a psychologist at University of California, Los Angeles) (UCLA). In an experiment conducted in 1986, Malamuth recruited 42 men and assessed the likelihood that they were inclined to rape. He divided them into three groups. Reports indicate that the first was given a selection of sexually explicit materials containing scenes of rape and sadomasochism. The second was given non-violent pornography. The third group - the control - was given none at all. Malamuth created scenarios where these men would interact face-to-face with a woman afterwards, ‘allowing’ them to ask suggestive questions and to react in several ways towards the women.
He concluded that if a man consumes a lot of aggressive pornography, there is a greater likelihood that he will commit a sexually aggressive act. According to Mbau, pornography can drive patients to psychological brinks that would require medical intervention.
-The standardmedia

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Talkshow Queen Oprah refused to get naked on screen

Oprah Winfrey, one of the most powerful women in the world, declared she would not be stripping off her lingerie to get ‘buck naked’ on screen. The billionaire TV tsarina and occasional actress was speaking to me about her role in director Lee Daniels’s movie The Butler, in which she plays Gloria, wife of a White House butler played by Forest Whitaker. 
Gloria becomes bored with her middle-class life while her husband’s off looking after ‘that other family in the White House’. Oprah said that after a while Gloria starts to drink, and fools around with a neighbour, played by Terrence Howard.  She said Daniels would have preferred her to go much further during her scenes with Howard. ‘You know, he would have had me buck naked on that sofa if I had let him!’ She added that she and Daniels argued ferociously about how Gloria would behave. ‘He did more screaming than I did — I’m not a screamer,’ she said. She insisted it would make no sense for Gloria to go to bed with Howard. ‘If she’s going to roll around in bed in the middle of the afternoon,’ she explained, then it would be ‘a lie, a fake thing’. The infuriating fact about Oprah Winfrey is that she has a day job that takes her away from acting.  It’s 15 years since she did Beloved; and 27 years since The Color Purple. She provides the heat in The Butler in more ways than one. Not only does she look terrific, but she nails the character completely: she’s a force of nature on screen. The movie spans several decades, and I wondered aloud whether America has paid that promissory note to African-Americans that Martin Luther King talked about in his I Have A Dream speech.  Oprah believes it has. ‘I think that every day, each of us is allowed to be judged by the content of their character,’ she said.
-www.standardmedia

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‘Ghost water pipe’ flooding Kawangware

A notorious water pipe has made life unbearable for most Kawangware residents. The pipe near the main road has a tendency of going burst every Wednesday and Thursday for over a year now, according to residents. “The water comes out on Wednesday and Thursday flooding the whole area. This has been the case for over a year even after repairs were done,” a butcher nearby told The Nairobian. Whenever it floods, customers who think it is a sewage spillage keeps off their businesses. “You have to convince them it is not sewage. But other customers disappear forever,” said the butcher. According to Peter Kuria, a trader, this has forced them to make mini dykes to avoid water flooding into their businesses. Traffic movements have also been hampered.
Our attempts to speak to officials of the Nairobi City Water Company about the issue were futile.
-The standardmedia

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