6 Signs Your Relationship is Strong Enough to Last a Lifetime

It's a new year, which means it's time for new goals, new resolutions, a new you. But hopefully the one thing you won't be trading in this new year is your relationship. I'm getting to the age where most of my peers are walking down the aisle, where I'm witness to new and blossoming love. And admittedly, as a married woman who just celebrated her sixth wedding anniversary (by working at the hospital for a 12-hour shift, woohoo!), I am starting to feel a little jaded about love. I know the truth about marriage. That the shiny new presents, the grandiose party, and the blissful honeymoon suite with the in-room hot tub does not a happy marriage make. Relationships take on all sorts of different shapes and sizes these days, with couples choosing not to marry yet live together, or to forge non-traditional family units. So just what is the key to a lifelong, lasting union? Check out these 6 signs your relationship will last a lifetime!

1. Trust your gut

Apparently, the real test of a relationship's longevity is actually incredibly simple. Time reports that a group of scientists measured how happy couples were by simply showing them pictures and asking them to rate them as either "happy" or "sad" after first asking them to look at pictures of their spouses. The couples who took a long time ranking the "sad" pictures had happier unions, while those who quickly identified the sad pictures ending up breaking up. The reason? At some unconscious level, unhappy couples who looked at pictures of their spouses were already in a "sad" mood, and thus could easily and quickly pinpoint the sad pictures.

2. You are a better person with your partner than you are without

I can honestly say that my relationship with my husband has made me a better person. When we first started dating, I was a miserably moody, unconfident, and insecure person and I took out a lot of my feelings on him. These days, I still struggle with those issues, but he has helped me to learn how to "fight fair," and he has been the rock that I know will never leave.

3. You don't depend on each other for happiness

While I don't think this is meant to be confused with the fact that marriage can make people happier, I also fell trap to the thinking early on in my marriage that my title as a "Mrs." was also my ticket to happiness. I thought for sure that having a husband who loved me would make me the confident, skinny, happy person I longed to be, but lo and behold - that didn't happen. Marriage is a source of happiness no doubt, but marriage alone cannot make you happy.

4. You don't believe in soul mates

There's an inherent and underlying danger to the premise of soul mates when you really think about it. After all, if it's true that we have soul mates, then who are we to take an active part in our relationship? If you're destined to be, you will be, right? Well, no. Unlike the concept of effortless love that soul mates can portray, choosing a relationship is an entirely different matter. Personally, I love how blogger Hannah puts it, when she declared to the world in a post gone viral that her husband was not her soulmate: "... I delight in choosing to love him every day. I like it better this way, with the pressure on me and not on fate, cosmos, or divinity. I will not fall out of love, cannot fall out of love, because I willingly dived in and I'm choosing daily to stay in. This is my joyous task, my daily decision."

5. You have realistic expectations

Glamour Magazine reported that one of the easiest and best ways to tell if a relationship will last is if a couple displays realistic images and portrayals about each other and their relationship - meaning, no unrealistic expectations about a life of pure bliss and toilet paper rolls that change themselves. This also means really grasping the concept that people don't change, and it's pretty much always a recipe for disaster if you go into a relationship expecting your partner to change for you.

6. You dream about the future together

Not in a way that keeps you from enjoying the present together, of course, but in a way that ensures that you will have a future together. Setting goals together, making plans for the kind of life you want to live with your partner, and checking in along the way helps to keep you connected as you dream together.

-Babble.com

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Mystery of Abduba Dida’s double appointment

 It is now emerging that President Uhuru Kenyatta and Devolution Cabinet Secretary Anne Waiguru made parallel appointments of Abduba Dida as the chairman of the Constituencies Development Fund.

Following the appointed of the same person in two separate Gazette Notices on different dates, questions are arising as to whether there is a communication breakdown in the Jubilee administration.

Queries are also being raised as to whether the President and his Cabinet are getting sound legal advice.

Ms Waiguru appointed Dida on December 27, 2013, through Gazette Notice Vol. CXV-No.181 while the President made the same appointment on December 31, 2013, four days later, through Gazette Notice Vol CXV-183.

The two Gazette notices refer “powers conferred by Section 5 (4) of the CDF Act 2013” in making the appointments.  However, both the President’s and Cabinet Secretary’s appointments were irregular.

Under the CDF Act 2013, it is only the Cabinet Secretary responsible for matters dealing with CDF (Devolution Ministry in this case) who has powers to appoint a chair of the board, but that appointment is restricted as the chair has to come from among members of the CDF Board, who also must have been vetted by Parliament.

The Devolution Secretary has since moved to correct her mistakes and revoked the appointment through Special Gazette Notice Vol. CVX-No.3 of January 3, 2014. The President is yet to rescind his appointment but sources indicate it will be done by Friday.

The notice signed by Waiguru stated: “It is notified for the information to the general public that Gazette Notice No. 15728 of 2013, issued under section 5 (4) of the Constituency Development Fund Act stands revoked.”

Dida’s appointment sparked outrage with MPs accusing President Uhuru of violating the law by appointing him. This is the second time the Jubilee administration has been embarrassed by being forced to withdraw an appointment due to public pressure.

Last year, the President was forced to withdrew the gazettement of former Naivasha MP John Mututho as chairman of the National Authority for the Campaign Against Drug and Substance Abuse since he made the appointment unprocedurally.

RUTO’S DEFENCE

Yesterday, Deputy President William Ruto defended the revocation of Dida’s appointment as chairman of the CDF. Ruto said the decision was arrived at after realizing the appointment of the former teacher-turned-politician did not follow due process.

He said the President had revoked the appointment to allow the vetting process by Parliament as required by the law.

“This is not the first time the President has had to revoke an appointment, last year we saw him withdraw the name of Nacada boss John Muthuto and we saw the man who is really passionate about his job get his post after vetting by Parliament,” Mr Ruto said.

The Deputy President revealed that Dida would get the job once all the legal processes are finalised to pave the way for his gazettement.

Nyamira Senator Mong’are Bwo Okong’o and Lugari MP Ayub Savula welcomed the move by the President to revoke the appointment of Dida saying that will allow due process to take its course.

Okong’o challenged Kenyatta to seek wider consultation before making civil service appointments as revocating them was costly and likely to damage his reputation.

“It is important the President has realised he erred in the appointment and has decided to correct it, which is a good gesture, but he should in future receive proper legal advice before making appointments,” Okongo told The Standard.

Savula said Attorney General Githu Muigai had failed in his duty as legal adviser to the government and by extension had embarrassed the President.

He said the President violated the CDF Act, which requires that the Cabinet Secretary for Devolution forward three names to parliament for approval before picking one from the list

 “We are not against anyone taking up positions in government but the law is clear on the procedure of making appointments with regard to chairpersons of parastatals, and that must be followed,” Savula said.

The chairman of the National Assembly’s CDF committee, Moses Lessonet, asked the government to speed up the appointment of the CDF board chairman so as not to affect the disbursement of money to constituencies as the seat is vacant.

“The President appointed Dida and then revoked the appointment of Ms Jennifer Nafula Barasa, meaning the position is currently vacant,” the Eldama Ravine MP said.

The chief executive officer takes over in an acting capacity in the absence of the board chair but cannot approve disbursements to constitution.

-www.standardmedia.co.ke

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Comedy King Churchill reveals his greatest regret in 2013

Churchill’s greatest regret in 2013 Most of us view celebrities as ‘super humans’. Probably due to their lavish lifestyles and almost picture perfect lives.  However, they too have skeletons in their closets. Recently comedian Daniel Ndambuki aka Churchill confessed to have made ‘big’ mistakes last year. He claimed on his FB page to have ‘trusted the wrong people.’

“What is your biggest regret of 2013? Mine was trusting people who I shouldn’t have,” he wrote. This came after he asked his fans to express their 2013 regrets. These sentiments left Heads Up wondering who exactly shortchanged the comedian.
-The Nairobian

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The King’ gives Nairobi 6,000 condoms a week

His name did not appear in the long list of nominees for presidential awards during the Golden Jubilee celebrations on December 12. But this Nairobian, crowned ‘King of Condoms’, has probably saved hundreds of lives with his simple message: ‘Use Protection’. Stanley Ngara eats, walks and talks condoms, and wherever he speaks, on proper use of the protective sheaths, he leaves behind an incredible mark, at least according to many who know him. Ngara, a programme officer with Liverpool VCT, has for 11 years been teaching Kenyans about safe sex since he was crowned ‘King of Condom’ three years ago. Armed with thousands of condoms and his eloquent message for Nairobians, Ngara has managed to get the ears of many.
In a week, he distributes about 6,000 condoms and convinces many others to buy them in shops and pharmacies. “We need to believe in condoms and take them with faith and attitude like the one we have on umbrellas when it rains,” he told The Nairobian. His message is laced with humour and packaged according to the audience’s status besides involving them in stunning practical lessons. His peculiar attire and crown amuses his listeners. “I thought of this idea after I established that when you do the same thing with same people you get same results. Innovation and fresh tactics help in driving the message home,” he said. On November 19 at a city hotel, he tutored CEOs drawn from public and private sector on condom usage and he got a rare standing ovation.
 “Many of us don’t know how to use and handle the condoms properly while others think they interfere with emotions and ecstasy during intercourse but that is not true,” he says.
-The nairobian

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Angry husband beats up ‘sex stimulant’ herbalist

A passenger attacked a herbalist aboard a Rongai bus after he forced his wife to buy a ‘sex stimulant’. A witness told The Nairobian, that the smartly dressed herbalist boarded the bus at the Railways bus terminus. Carrying a large bag containing his herbal medicine, he convinced passengers to buy the products. “He was selling different varieties of products.  Some, he claimed, cure persistent coughs, low libido, headaches, body oduors and even smelly feet,” said the witness. The man approached one of the young women and tried to convince her to buy his ‘libido stimulant’ for her husband.
“Some of these Nairobi men are poor in bed. Get some for your husband today,” he told the young woman. Unknown to him, the woman was seated with her husband who was angered by his claims. The man grabbed the herbalist by the collar and beat him up. The driver was forced to pull over forcing the herbalist to alight from the bus.
-www.standardmedia.co.ke

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Why rail project could be Kenya’s biggest scandal yet

The controversy over Kenya’s second railway tender is expected to escalate following fresh revelations that the State Law Office had raised a stink over what it terms exaggerated construction costs.

The red flag, according to documents seen by The Standard on Saturday, was raised long before the construction was commissioned by President Uhuru Kenyatta in November last year.

The new revelations may come as a slap

in the face of the President and his deputy, William Ruto, who during their recent tour of Rift Valley berated Nandi Hills MP Alfred Keter for allegedly raising the issue at the behest of opponents of the Jubilee.

In a comparative analysis of the cost of the railways Kenya and Ethiopia are building, the Attorney General Githu Muigai raised serious integrity questions about how the total cost rose from the initial Sh220, 921,502, 221.08 quoted by China Road and Bridge Corporation in its acceptance of the tender award letter dated July 2012 to the current Sh1.3 trillion.

The variations are shaping the railway project into the country’s biggest financial scandal, beating the Goldenberg, Anglo-leasing and Triton frauds.

The tendering concerns are informed by a comparative analysis of the railway projects being undertaken by Kenya and Ethiopia. While the Kenyan one is of inferior technology and covering half the distance Ethiopia is constructing, it was expected to cost the government $3.804 billion (Sh334.8 billion) compared with $3.9 billion (Sh343.2 billion) used by Ethiopia.

The documents further show the locomotives and rolling stocks that include 56 diesel locomotives, 1,620 freight wagons, 40 passenger coaches and one simulator would have cost $1.147 billion (Sh100.936 billion).

The Ethiopian locomotives and rolling stocks consisting 35 electric locomotives, six diesel shunting locomotives, 1,100 freight wagons, 30 passenger coaches and one simulator will cost $230 million (Sh20.24 billion). Construction of the 485km Kenyan railway will require $2.657 billion (Sh233.816 billion) compared with Ethiopia’s budget of $3.67 billion (Sh322.96 billion) to build 756km from Addis Ababa to Djibouti port on the Red Sea coast.

The review upwards of the railway budget elicited questions from managing director of the Public Procurement Oversight Authority MJO Juma, who since March this year has unsuccessfully sought answers from the ministry over the discrepancies in the tender and raised the matter of the variations in tendering with the AG.

The railway project scandal is a continuation of a “tradition” that began in 1992 which demonstrates that every time a new regime ascends to power its first mega financial undertaking is a rip-off of the Exchequer.

In a letter dated March 7, 2013, Mr Juma wrote: “We have not had sight of the resultant contract signed between Kenya Railways and M/s China Road and Bridge Corporation following the negotiations of the grant between the two governments. In the absence of the contract, we are unable to discern the negotiations and contractual terms agreed between yourselves and the contractor to enable us to determine the applicability of or otherwise of not only Section 6 (1) of the (Public Procurement and Disposal) Act.”

In his reply, Prof Muigai termed the process as inconsistent with the law.

“I must record that it is worrying that a procuring entity can pick and choose to alternate procurement methodologies as alleged over the same subject matter and both of which alternatives require external endorsement because neither alternatives admits open competition,” he says.

The chief government legal advisor goes on to debunk the explanation given by Transport Secretary Michael Kamau that deal was government-to-government agreement. He argues that the idea should have been sealed through a treaty.

“Are G-to-G a method of procurement or would such agreements merely form the basis of future traditional procurement under various areas of cooperation documented under the G-to-G? More worrying is the increasing phenomenon of government agreements employing G-to-G tool to circumvent the requirements of the…(law),” he explains.

Annulled and varied

It is against this backdrop the State Law Office has done a comparative analysis of the Kenya and Ethiopian railway projects.

The two have argued that tendering process was irregular, although in documents seen by The Standard on Saturday, the former Kenya Railways Corporation Managing director Nduva Muli explained the variation of the procurement procedures as informed by the fact the project is government-to-government deal.

In his response to a request for advice sought by the PPOA boss, Prof Muigai describes as irregular the G-to-G procurement process, saying it was not a treaty between the Government of Kenya and China.

In a letter acknowledgement of the contract award, China Road and Bridge Corporation (Kenya) General Manager Li Qiang, says: “We hereby give a formal unconditional acceptance of the award of the project…exclusive of all taxes, duties and other levies such as value added tax, customs duties withholding tax, etc.” the letter puts the total cost of the railway project at Sh220 billion.

According to the November edition of Fortune magazine, the Ethiopian project was to cost $2 billion (Sh176 billion) to link Djibouti to the Ethiopian capital, which includes additional works.

Despite the questions being raised in Parliament how the figure jumped from Sh220 to Sh334.8 billion then Sh1.3 trillion, the Jubilee government maintains the deal was above board.

The initial contract was annulled and later varied by former Transport Minister Chirau Ali Mwakwere. Mwakwere, following investigations by Inspectorate of State Corporations is remembered for similarly varying a tender for supply of two ferries for which the state paid Sh1.2 billion instead the initial Sh800 million.

The project was given the nod despite Prof Muigai and Mr Juma’s, queries about the mode of tendering, which they adjudged as irregular as it failed to meet laid down regulations.

In their correspondence with managing director of Kenya Railways Corporation Nduva Muli (who incidentally is Transport principal secretary), Prof Muigai and Mr Juma query how and when the cost of the railway was varied from the initial Sh220 billion.

The same queries were raised by Mr Ruto, despite attending the ground-breaking ceremony of the project expected to conclude in 2017.

The latest queries come on the back damning accusations and counter-accusations of corruption between Jubilee coalition partners over the tender.

-www.standardmedia.co.ke

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