13 absolutely worst types of men to date

Dating is a hard game and there are some types of men who should be avoided. What are these types? Let guest contributor Lillian Blue help you weed out the bad with this list of worst types of men to date.

1. The Scaredy-Cat

While seemingly a normal, possibly timid guy, things can go extremely wrong when he finds out your true feelings. Men like this aren't mature enough to handle relationships, so they avoid them at all costs. For example, he may show signs of sharing your infatuation, but when talk of commitment comes up, he acts as if you've never even met. If this man comes into your life, don’t beat yourself up over his sudden change of heart. He’s simply a scared little boy, not the man of your dreams.

2. The Flirt

We’ve all met a flirt. Also known as the ever elusive «player». He has dozens of women on the backburner and possesses a constant hunger to string more along to fulfill his insecure mindset. When you spot this man, don’t let him get to you. You can bet those charming one-liners and suave winks have been used many times before to his advantage. You’ll always be an option, but never a priority.

3. The Blow off

This man has no trouble setting plans and organizing dates. In fact, he is usually the one that routinely lights up your phone every Friday night. He wants to have some fun this weekend. To make sure he isn’t left alone, he schedules numerous «dates» and weighs his options. If you’re not top on his list, you’ll probably get the «Oh, sorry I’m not feeling so well» text or possibly no response at all. Don’t let it bother you, he wasn't worth your time.

4. The Narcissist

This one’s pretty self-explanatory. Does your man spend more time getting ready than you do? Does he constantly check his hair in every mirror he comes across? Is he seemingly more in love with himself than in you? Are his interests limited to his own idealistic opinions and profound theories? Yeah, he’s head over heels. With himself. Ditch the Ken doll, you shouldn’t have to put up with someone so plastic.

5. The Dramatic

From past relationships I’ve learned that the majority of these boys have been total primadonnas. You’ll know you’ve met this type when he freaks out if you show up five minutes late to a date. You can be sure he’ll fan every little disagreement into a full-blown argument. It’s not worth the stress. In my experience, this type can’t handle sarcasm very well, either. Their serious attitudes tend to translate humor very literally.

6. The Mushball

Now, I know I can appreciate some roses and chocolate from my man every once in a while, or on special occasions, but what about when the gifts and compliments get out of control? Constant flattery can seem fake after a while, and while endless gifts sound nice; they ultimately result in an awkward situation. If all of that mushball behavior is one sided and we girls end up on a pedestal, the relationship can often become unbalanced.

7. The Deadbeat

This man is most often seen sporting a cheese puff-stained shirt; lying on the couch in his mom’s basement. If for some reason he leaves the house and you two end up talking; you’ll find him very light on the activities aspect of life. But who knows? He could be a driven, hard-core gamer and if you’re into that sort of thing then you’ve met your match! But if he’s just a no good couch potato, it’ll take a lot longer for you to try and change him then it will for him to finish off another bowl of Cheetos.

8. The Power Monger

This type of man has a need for control. Over you, and everything else in his life. If he starts ordering you around or trying to manipulate you in any way, get out of this relationship. He’ll only continue to build power by wearing you down. In order for a relationship to happily function, both sides need to share authority. He isn’t the boss of you; you control your own life.

9. The Know It All

Everyone hates a know it all. If you find yourself with this man, you’ll become aware of your situation very quickly. You’ll probably be told you’re incorrect more frequently and you should prepare for the flood of «extensive knowledge» your partner is going to heap upon you. The information you’re being bombarded with is this man’s way of looking smarter or trying to impress you. It’s not impressive, it’s downright annoying.

10. The Judgementalist

It’s one thing to people watch. It’s another to point out every flaw in those around you. This type of man can spot someone unique and different from a mile away and has this conformist need to cut them up and express his dislike of their differences. They’re incredibly shallow and don’t have the capacity to dig deep and really get to know anyone out of the ordinary. You don’t want to date a mean, un-understanding man. So, find someone who can accept people for who they are and is secure with himself.

11. The Kept Man

This is the guy with who has no job and no plans on ever getting one. What's worse is that he's got champagne taste on a beer budget and knows how to manipulate his way into your wallet to support the lavish lifestyle he desperately wants. He might seem like a super nice guy who is going through some tough times, but he's only concerned about what you can do for him. Don't let this guy charm him way into your heart or your wallet!

12. The Mama's Boy

I love a man who is close to his family, but if he can't make any decisions without his mama's input, it's a deal breaker. It might sound harsh, but I'm not talking about consulting his mother on life-altering decisions here. This is a guy who needs his mom's advice on clothes, his job, car, even what he eats! Take a pass on this type of man unless you're ready to play second fiddle to his mom.

13. The Married Guy

I know most women run away from a guy who's married, but some aren't aware of his relationships status or they find out after they've already fallen for him. In either case, don't get caught up with the married guy. He's obviously unable to stay faithful to the woman he made a vow to be with, but he also manipulates his situation so that you feel sorry for him and fall for all of his lies. He might lead you to believe that he's trapped in a loveless marriage and that he's going to eventually leave his wife and children for you, but in most if not all situations there's very little chance that he's going to change for anyone.

This post was written in collaboration with editor Lisa Washington

-allwomenstalk.com

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How to identify the Nairobi conmen

Nairobi’s conmen have used several tricks to fleece Nairobians over the years and some of the tricks in their fraudulent bags have become sophisticated: 1. Sweepstake winners  They mostly insist that they are from Meru (or any other upcountry town) and don’t know their way around Nairobi. They will target men, since on average men are greedier. They show you the ticket that they have won Sh1 million and ask for help with directions, mostly to a dingy building in the CBD. Once you get there they promise to share a percentage of the windfall but will insist that they cannot enter the building because they are afraid and suspicious of Nairobi and its denizens.  They will give their victim for an ID, money or even phones as proof that you will not disappear with the ticket. Naively, many individuals agree to part with whatever they have as a guarantee that they will come back. As you climb the stairs, smiling on your luck on a Tuesday afternoon, they disappear. When you get to the right office, you will encounter a totally different office that has received many visitors of your kind. 2.  Praying for pedestrian
Conmen are also known to pull innocent looking pedestrians to the roadside, to ask for directions to some spiritual convention going on in town. They claim mostly that they are from Tanzania and it is their first time in Nairobi. As you show them the way to KICC, they will engage you in small talk. Ask you about your family, predict, often accurately your problems before asking to pray for you. What is not known is how they are able to daze one completely and defraud you. By the time they are praying, you would have given them all your money and material possessions. They will instruct you to walk around and come to the same spot, where you find they have vaporized to only God knows where. 3.  Selling fake phones They will show a particularly good and fashionable phone that they are selling cheaply. As you haggle, they push it back to the pocket, tacitly indicating that it is stolen, so you have to hurry up. As soon as you give them the money, they will give you the fake phone, and disappear. When you get home, you never know whether to cry or to laugh for your folly. 4. Bogus makangas There are fake bus conductors galore come the festive season such as December holiday. Most mill around at bus stations with dog-eared ticket books and blue or green aprons. They pretend to be working for an unknown bus and will ask for those who need to travel urgently and are without luggage. Once you pay, he will drop the book there; pretend to be going for a bathroom break with a warning that no one should go anywhere for long given the bus is just around the corner. That is the last you see of him. 5.   M-Pesa scheme
They are the most notorious of all Nairobi con artists. They compose a message and send to unsuspecting victims indicating they have sent you a certain amount of money. Afterwards, they will call and politely ask that you send them back the money. If you are not keen, you will send them your money. Sometimes they use blackmail threats, like that of forcefully recruiting you into Freemasonry or any other revered institution if you don’t return the money. 6. Sham jobs on offer These ones go a step further to advertise in newspapers and even reputable internet websites dedicated to jobs and careers. They will use elaborate ruses including long fill-in forms demanding details that can easily tell your desperation. Once you have filled in forms, notification stating that you have been selected are sent to you. However, they ask for some money for some medical check-up, training or certain certification process. They demand that you send the money electronically. Once you have sent the money, you discover that you were part of the crowd that has been swindled.  UN jobs have been used as bait mostly, owing to their lucrative nature.
-www.standardmedia

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Mututho: It won’t be business as usual

Question: Why have reports on dangerous alcoholic drinks not been acted upon and why do such reports remain secret?

Mututho: That would form a subject of inquiry as there have been several reports of toxic drinks reported to the Government and it remains of interest why no prosecution has taken place. There are no secrets between two people and we believe that it will ultimately come to the public domain. But it is important to recognise that up to 52 per cent of drinks in Kenya have been classified as sub-standard. Where such a result is published, one would expect that even if Nacada doesn’t take action, the Department of Public Health should, and if not, then the other arms involved in criminal justice like the Kenya Police should come in.

You will recall that there have been over 300 deaths reported because of alcohol poisoning, some notable ones include 80 deaths in Mai Mahiu/Narok in 1998, 137 deaths in Mukuru Kaiyaba in 2000, 50 deaths in Machakos in 2005, 28 deaths in Kibera in 2010, 19 deaths in Nyahururu/Ol Kalou in 2011, 14 deaths in Embu in 2011, seven deaths in Keiyo in 2012 and many others. Even an inquest by the Judiciary should have exposed these killer brews and the persons behind them. That is why I believe at an appropriate time we will be recommending to the President to institute a public inquiry into this scam.

Why should we think it will not be business as usual moving forward?

I believe there is only one John Mututho and since John Mututho is the one in charge of Nacada, in my world and for the few years I have been in public service, everybody I have worked with knows I do not entertain being second best in technical performance.

Nacada will follow the law to the letter and no intimidation, threat or innuendo will stop us from pursuing and achieving our mandate. There are more than 500 brands of alcoholic drinks in Kenya, and our mandate is to ensure they conform to legal and health standards.

We have already been to as far as Kipipiri in Nyandarua, Voi in Taita Taveta, Nakuru, Nairobi and soon we will be going to Meru, Isiolo, Marsabit, Kakamega and Kisumu, tracking down the sources of these many brands from what I have previously referred to as drinks from merchants of death. We buy them from retail outlets and pass them on to the Government chemist and other agencies for analysis. Of some 162 samples analysed recently, 52 per cent are substandard.

The good news is that we are forwarding the entire file to the Director of Public Prosecution for further investigation and possible prosecution. I believe the department and Public Health can achieve this within the next seven to 14 days.

All alcoholic drinks must conform to the requirements of the Alcoholic Drinks Control Act. It is financial suicide for anyone in their right mind to continue trading in these illicit alcoholic drinks.

Who could have authorised the drinks to remain in the market? What will you do differently about that?

I believe no one authorised this. KEBS has sophisticated equipment but the crooks dealing in substandard drinks go to the market and buy top range alcoholic drinks of international labels, repackage them and forward that to KEBS for analysis, whereby KEBS will show very good results and subsequently approve. Perhaps we need to advice KEBS now to regularly visit those breweries and sample from all factories and all the wholesale and retail outlets to check on the deviation from the initial samples and then cause prompt prosecution in case of deviation.

It is not clear where the blame game begins and stops but we know we are supposed to register all the alcoholic drinks and we shall do exactly that. We are now calling for five samples from every manufacturer or importer of alcoholic drinks for detailed analysis for purposes of approval on our own Kenyan standards and also international standards and then recommend for consumption.

Woe unto those who will continue in trading in disregard of this proviso, which will automatically lead to prosecution and heavy fines

I believe the penalties of up to Sh10 million, including a jail term, should send a clear message and serve as a deterrent.

How does Nacada liaise with KEBS and what mandate does the standards parastal have to remove the drinks form the shelves?

KEBS has powers to do that and cause prosecution and besides, there is the Public Health Act. These have been provided for in adequate measure in our statutes and all we are urging KEBS to do is wake up from their slumber and do their job.

How much revenue does the Government make from the drinks?

Our suspicion is that the market is much bigger than expressed in the tax returns. The media is reporting young people as spending billions of shillings on entertainment.

It is common knowledge that most of it is on alcohol. If the youth spend these billions, then we can conservatively approximate that the collectable income would be expected to be over Sh40 billion and we all know that is not the case.

It is now reported that Kenya is controlling between 70 per cent and 75 per cent of the alcohol market in East Africa. Can the size of this market then be what is being reported in the alcohol industry? We give a resounding no, but leave
it to KRA to do their investigations.

-www.standardmedia

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9 interesting things you'll never change about your man

Women have the tendency to change different things to better suit their needs and might even attempt to do that with our partners, but before even trying, you should keep in mind that there are a few things you’ll never change about your man, no matter how hard you would might want that.

Men aren’t as complicated as you might think, so they are not so hard to understand.

That’s why, when he tells you to stop trying to change him, that’s precisely what’s he intends. There’s no hidden meaning and he does know what’s best for him.

So, I invite you to read on and find out what are the most surprising things you’ll never change about your man.

1. He Will Always Watch Sports

This is definitely one of the things you’ll never change about your man! Most of them are not even a one-sport man; they pretty much love them all. Don’t try to take this pleasure away from him! The best thing you can do is to just let him watch whatever he wants and take advantage of the time he spends in front of the TV. The game only lasts for a finite time and he will appreciate you even more for not nagging him!

2. He Will Always Lie to You

Don’t worry, I’m not talking about big fat lies, but about those little white lies that he will tell you in order to make you feel good about yourself. So, he will never tell you that you don’t look good in a certain dress or that he doesn’t like your parents so much or that he forgot to pay the electricity bill. Remember, he only does this because he doesn’t wanna see you upset!

3. He Will Look at Other Women

Okay, this is one of the things I really don’t like about guys, but apparently they just can’t help it. After all, looking is not cheating and you must admit that sometimes you are tempted to do the same when you notice some good looking guy coming your way. We’re only human and this behavior of his shouldn’t upset you!

4. He Will Never Care about Clothes

This may not always be true, but most men I know will never care as much about clothes as their girlfriends or wives do. This is just the way they’re built and they just don’t care about fashion. They like to look good, but they just hate to shop, needless to say, worry about what would they wear tomorrow at work or on your night out. That’s just the way they are. There’s nothing you can do about it and you should learn to accept it!

5. He Will Always Be a Mama’s Boy

I know a few people who will disagree with me on this one, but I really believe guys are very attached to their mothers, no matter how old they are. This is understandable, because after all, his mom is the first woman who he met and loved and who taught him to be the great guy that he is now. So, maybe now and then you should thank his mom for raising such a wonderful son!

6. He Will Never Talk about His Feelings

I know women are more romantic and that’s why they would love to communicate more and talk about their feelings with those special men in their life. That’s just not gonna happen and you should accept the fact that your man is different and more pragmatic, thus more straight-forward. They do think it’s important to communicate well, so that your relationship would work, but they don’t wanna exaggerate and spend all their time talking about their feelings. So, just accept that and move on. There are other things that are more important than the amount of time your man spends talking about what’s on his mind.

7. He Is a Beer Buff

Men love beer. Maybe you don’t understand this, but for him a beer with the guys, is more than this. It’s basically the way most men prefer to relax after a hard day at work, after they failed at doing something or just to catch up with their friends. This also doesn’t mean that he doesn’t love you, but just like you need your time with the girls, he also needs his guy time. And, what better way to spend it, than drinking a cold beer with his friends?

8. He Resents You for Taking So Long to Get Ready

This is a thing almost all men share: the fact that they resent you for taking so long to get ready. They like you to look good, but they just can’t understand why you have to spend so much time trying to look nice when you always look perfect, even without your make-up on or without some fancy clothes. You should feel flattered if your man thinks this way, so try to hurry up a bit the next time you’re going somewhere.

9. He Will Always Love Video-Games

Maybe you don’t get this and maybe you don’t understand why he spends so much time playing some video-game for hours without getting bored. My advice is to not even try to understand him. Just accept the fact that deep down, he is still a little child who likes playing games, even if some of them might be very violent and aggressive. I know you might not like it, but there’s pretty much nothing you can do about it.

I suspect that there might be a lot of things you would wanna change about your man; I know I’m tempted to do so, every now and then. Some of you have even tried to do it but without any luck and you have accepted the fact that there’s nothing you can do to change him, despite all your efforts. So, can you tell me what other things you’ll never change about a man? Please share your thoughts with us in the comments section
-allwomenstalk.com

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How doctors rob insured patients

A new breed of gold-diggers are stalking Nairobians—and they are not the cheap or sleazy type — they are suave professionals who callously steal from you by the stroke of a pen.

But it is not just individuals who are affected by the growing insidious scheme as professional doctors also set back companies by millions of shillings every year in fraudulent insurance claims.

These doctors work in cahoots with insurance agents or companies to defraud unsuspecting clients through dubious medical diagnosis, procedures and prescriptions.

They have perfected this art by hiding behind well-documented records, references and charts. Only a well-trained nose will smell a doctored rat here.

Three C-Sections in a row

So next time you visit a doctor and you are on a medical insurance cover, seek a second independent opinion if your prognosis appears a little strange – and the intervention or medication being prescribed appears far too drastic or costly – because you are likely being scammed.

Investigations by The Nairobian reveal that the unscrupulous physicians then claim their share of the loot from insurance companies who would have recovered hefty sums in insurance claims from companies under their coverage.

Rebecca* (not her real name) shudders even today as she narrates how she was made to go through three Caesarian Sections in a row, when she could actually have given birth normally.

Caesarean section or C-section is a surgical procedure in which one or more incisions are made through a mother’s abdomen and uterus to deliver one or more babies, or remove a dead foetus.

The procedure is only done when the life of either the mother or the baby is at risk. The procedure costs anything between Sh200,000 to Sh1.5 million in most private hospitals in Nairobi.

Insurance allocation

wiped off by Sh1.7m bill

But for Rebecca, this was routine procedure whenever she visited a leading private hospital in Nairobi to deliver her baby. She had a specific doctor who saw her at the hospital and her insurance cover catered for nearly every type of treatment offered at the hospital including an option for C-section.

“What worried me most is that I was quite healthy up to my last trimester in all the three pregnancies, only to be told a few days before delivery that I may have to go for C-section,” she says.

“The doctor made it appear so serious that it scared the wits out of me. My husband and I had no choice but to go for it,” she added almost in tears.

What is more, she explains, the last C-section she underwent at the hospital led to further complications that required her to be hospitalised for a period of one and half months.

“The bill that came, about Sh1.7 million, wiped off my yearly insurance allocation and it was only March. I had to shoulder the bills for any subsequent hospital visits,” she says.

And now doctors have warned her she can never give birth normally again after the series of C-sections.

“I have since changed doctors, but the new gynaecologist has warned me I may never give birth the normal way again,” she says.

Doctors say such women risk internal bleeding and even death if they attempt virginal delivery, reason being that their uterine muscles have been weakened by the repeated incisions and would crumble and tear under the pressure of pushing.

“Although I do not plan to have any more babies, I am sad that my doctor did this to me simply because he wanted to earn extra money,” Rebecca says.

Bottomless insurance cover

But the scammers have now discovered an even more fertile ground in wealthy Nairobi women who cannot give birth.

These also seem to have bottomless insurance cover allocations — which offer a cushion to the scammers’ clandestine activities.

Another victim who spoke to The Nairobian told of how she had always wanted a baby, but discovered she was infertile. Together with her husband, she sought advice from a gynaecologist who recommended a test tube baby or In Vitro Fertilisation (IVF).

IVF is a technique in which a woman’s eggs and a sperm are fertilised in a laboratory and then implanted in her womb.

But with a successful rate of between 20-23 per cent, often the process is a trial and error mission.

However, after ten attempts, and a staggering Sh25 million later, and no baby, Clarice (not her real name) gave up. But the failure also cost Clarice her marriage.

Costly source of pain

The medical procedure, which was first done successfully locally in 2006, is now being sought by millions of women who cannot conceive conventionally, but for a tidy sum of Sh800,000 or more per procedure in some clinics.

The operation has become a costly source of pain or happiness for many families.

 “I knew the success rates were always very low,” says Clarice. “But the doctor would just not give up. Apparently, he kept urging us to keep trying. Now I realize he was just after the insurance money given that he was a private doctor. It cost me my marriage and my life, so to speak,” she says.

But it is not only through procedures like C-section and IVF that these crooked doctors rake in millions.

There are those who prescribe expensive medicine willingly even though cheaper options would have done the job perfectly.

In the medical world, when it comes to treatment, there is the first line, second line and third line drugs used to treat various diseases.

Doctors always go for first line medicine on a patient’s first visit or according to medical history.

But some doctors, keen to scheme out as much as possible from covered patients, go for second or third line treatments or prescribe very expensive options just to make a quick buck.

A few rotten apples

“I visited a popular children’s hospital in Nairo

bi with my three-month-old daughter who was sick,” another victim, who identifies himself only as Onyango, told The Nairobian.

“I was shocked to hear the doctor put her on medication for three months for what I came to learn was a simple ailment.”

He says he sought a second opinion from another doctor, who prescribed medication that cleared the ailment in just three days.

While doctors agree there are a few rotten apples among them who do unethical things for financial gain, they maintain a majority in the profession uphold their professionalism.

Several attempts to contact the Medical Practitioners and Dentists Board for comment before this publication, failed.

-www.standardmedia.co.ke

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CORD co-principal Moses Wetangula recaptures Bungoma senate seat

Moses Wetang’ula recaptured the Bungoma Senate seat with a resounding victory ending months of speculation in an election that had attracted attention countrywide.

Vote count in 933 out of 942 polling stations presented Ford Kenya leader Wetangula as the outright winner with 149,001 votes. Amani Coalition’s candidate Musikari Kombo followed a distant second 79,964, David Makali (Independent) came in third at 2,131 and Bifwoli Wakoli (Labour Party of Kenya) got 1,891 votes.

Wetang’ula’s re-election gives Cord a niche in the Senate where he was the Minority leader until the court nullified the March 4 polls. He is one of the three co-principal of the CORD coalition, the others being former Prime Minister Raila Odinga and former Vice President Kalonzo Musyoka.

He maintained the lead from the time results started to trickle at the tallying center at theKenya Industrial Estate within Bungoma town.

Drama, counter accusations and intrigues characterised the voting process and tallying of Bungoma Senatorial by-elections.

The by-election from the onset was declared a two-horse race between Cord and Amani. The victory will send former Deputy Prime Minister Musalia Mudavadi to the drawing board over his influence in western politics, which was once his stronghold.

After casting his vote at Namakhele polling station in Kabuchai constituency, Wetang’ula expressed confidence that Cord would carry the day.

He, however, declared that the elections were between Jubilee and Cord and vowed to defend the agenda of the opposition in the Senate.

“These elections are going to be a game changer in the politics of Bungoma County, western and the country as a whole,” he said.

New Ford Kenya candidate Musikari Kombo cast his vote at Matulo R.C Primary School in Webuye, where he also expressed concern over the poor turnout of voters in most parts of the county and said Kenyans must learn to appreciate their responsibility as voters.

 “The turnout is slightly low, I urge voters to come out and exercise their democratic right in order to elect a leader of their choice,’’ he observed.

Voter bribery claims dominated the Bungoma senatorial by-election with candidates accusing their opponents of influencing the voters to have undue advantage.

Claims of voter bribery, intimidation and attacks on supporters of the various candidates characterised yesterday’s exercise.

Makali expressed fears that the exercise might not be free and fair as Kombo and Wetang’ula supporters had soaked the region with money

“This is a shameless act, some candidates will be disadvantaged. This is not a democratic election and will not reflect the wishes of the people of Bungoma,” he said.

He accused the Independent Electoral and Boundaries Commission (IEBC) of turning a deaf ear to their plea to take action against the candidates involved in the vice as it was an electoral offence.

“This is unethical, despite petitioning IEBC over the matter, they are yet to act,” said Makali.

Wetangula recorded a statement at Kimilili police station over massive electoral offences.

Angry voters at Kimilili District Education Board (DEB) primary school assaulted and frog marched New Ford Kenya official, Baraza Nyukuri claiming that he had tried to bribe them.

Following the development and allegations of vote buying by close rival Kombo’s supporters, Wetang’ula recorded the statement accusing the Amani Coalition of spearheading the illegal exercise.

Electoral malpractices

“I have recorded a statement to this effect. My opponent is involved in voter bribery and intimidation,” he said.

However Amani coalition led by former Justice Minister Eugene Wamalwa dismissed the allegations as baseless and instead insisted that it was Cord that was involved in electoral malpractices.

Bungoma County Commissioner Maalim Mohammed confirmed they have received reports of voter bribery but said they were still conducting investigations.

“We have heard isolated cases in Chwele and Kimilili but we are probing the matter,” he said.

The Bungoma IEBC Returning Officer Ben Misiati said that two people have so far been arrested in relation to voter bribery and are in police custody.

Misiati expressed concern over the low voter turnout noting that by mid-day yesterday, the turnout was at 20 per cent.

-www.standardmedia.co.ke

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